A few years ago, a close friend and I sat by a Vegas casino pool and cooked up a "cure" for the Star Wars prequels.
Like a lot of adult fans, we had been disappointed by the releases of Episodes 1 & 2. Sure, it was still Star Wars, but a lot of things like midichlorians and Jar Jar Binks had been introduced that made us feel things weren't quite right. Probably we just felt a little too much ownership over the license that we loved and had been inspired by so much.
Then Episode 3 came out and changed everything. Arguably there were still issues, but even the midichlorians didn't bother us as much anymore. It undeniably satisfied a lot of fans, and somehow even made the first two prequels better. I lost interest in developing our cure, as it didn't seem relevant or even interesting anymore.
But for the record and in honor of John's birthday, here's an outline for what we used to think might have made the first two prequels better.
References
As a kid I had never seen the Flash Gordon serials or Kirosawa films that were reportedly influences on the original Star Wars, but as an adult I felt the prequels' references were a little too transparent. The Matrix, Crouching Tiger and Gladiator seemed omnipresent in many scenes and were way too fresh in the public consciousness to have any place in the prequels. The timeless cinematic quality of the original trilogy seemed lost to a decision to reference recent popular movies.
I make no claims to being a film historian, but felt classic movie references would have provided a more appropriately historic and respectful feel. For Episode 1 the introduction of Anakin could have borrowed from Oliver Twist, where Anakin is a Force-prodigy putting his skills to ill-use in dangerous and seedy Mos Espa. For Episode 2 the love story we might have built on is Gone with the Wind; change is inevitably coming to the Galactic Republic and only Anakin is prepared to handle it.
Villains
By design, The Trade Federation are intended to be lame villains, pawns of the future Emperor. However they not only got screwed over with some horrible voice-overs, they got a sucky, ham-handed part in the first film and then more or less ignored thereafter. Their army of robotic droids fell apart like butter at the hands of the Jedi, and didn't do much besides cause a forest stampede and give the Gungans more opportunity for antics. Their defeat lacked conviction because they never presented a tangible threat: Naboo looked more or less the same as it did before they arrived, and aside from being told that the "death toll (was) catastrophic" the audience didn't have a lot of investment in why these droids were bad for the economy or whatever.
Showing us the lush and beautiful Naboo and its gorgeous capitol of Theed pass virtually unscathed in all three films was like presenting a giant glass window in an 80s action movie and never throwing anyone through it. I would have been much more appreciative of the villainy of the Trade Federation had I gotten to see Amidala amid the smoking ruins of her beloved city.
Maul and Sidious were great, but forget about the two-limit rule for Sith: what's the point of that other than to give Palpatine an unnecessary motive to recruit Anakin? Of course Palpatine wants to recruit Anakin, he's the best thing to happen to the Force since sliced bread! The rest of the factions introduced are good background, but the focus should have been kept on the Separatists and Count Dooku as the primary enemies. They are the most interesting and relatable to the audience, especially when they are later revealed (in our version) to be the seeds of the future Rebellion.
What I propose the prequels should have been is basically the Ep4-6 plotline inverted, to watch the rebel Separatists from the point of view of the Republic/Empire (a bunch of terrorists running around breaking criminals out of prison, stealing plans for military bases and blowing them up with coordinated attacks.) It's much cleaner to have just two opposing forces at odds, and horrifying to later realize (the big twist at the end of film 2) that you've been cheering on the villains. The Jedi are fighting unwittingly for the side of evil, and it is their ultimate disgrace that they do the right thing to the wrong guy: their martyrdom of Dooku (revealed to be a good guy in our version) signals the start of their downfall.
Some Fixes for Anakin
1. His "Slavery"
Anakin's existence as a slave doesn't seem to serve much purpose other than to keep his mother stuck on Tatooine while he's recruited by Qui-Gon. And even then, slavery doesn't seem so bad in Mos Espa: Anakin has more in common with modern-day upper-class American kids (his own room, amazing toys, his own ride, free time to tinker and hang out with his street urchin buddies) than any slave I've read about, all he has to do is clean Watto's shop in the afternoon. The prequels should have made his slavery count for something, or skip it and just make him a farmer like Luke.
2. His Motivation
Anakin also lacks an extreme amout of motivation for a descent into darkness that will change the universe. Slavery looked reasonably tolerable, leaving Mom was a hug and a wave, it's just one fun Podrace sequence to the next, whoa. Let's see some trauma here! Luke at least saw the charred remains of his aunt and uncle before embarking on his mythic quest; let's see something memorable happen to this kid. Anakin's separation from his mother was horribly tame, it could have been much more shocking and traumatic for him.
3. His Potential
The Prophesy, Midochlorians and Immaculate Conception all seemed to be devices intended to establish Anakin's mythic potential, but don't resonate with previous Star Wars ideology. Anakin's unnatural skill at Podracing ("requires Jedi reflexes") also attempted to support this but got lost in the excitement of the race - isn't that just what people in science fiction universes far, far away do? When first discovered Anakin should already display extraordinary skill with the kinds of things Luke struggled with, like telekiness and mind control. This should be explored at a very basic, fun level to capture the imagination of the children who would love to abuse that sort of power (see Harry Potter books). For instance young Anakin could easily have been the best con artist in Mos Espa, lifting wallets and convincing adults to do his bidding. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan would seem more obliged to get this menace off the streets and into a training program if we felt this kid was already on the road to the juvenile hall.
4. His Descent
When Anakin follows his path into darkness I want to understand why, and figure I would have done the same thing. Imagine him faced with no other choice but to bring down the Jedi, and weeping as he does so. Imagine the loneliness he'd feel, and the burden of that choice: then imagine seeing him walk onscreen again in Ep4, and how much more depth there'd be to his character. Also imagine the exiled Obi-Wan as something other than the kindly old man exiled in the desert, maybe even a betrayer of someone in the past.
[This point more than any of the others I felt was resolved in Episode 3 much better than I could have imagined. I really liked the way it was handled, and felt Anakin's struggle was believable.]
Expanding the License
The lightsaber battles were very satisfying, but I hoped for a little more from the Jedi in their heyday. It would have been nice to see one new forcepower revealed with each prequel, but all we really saw was Force Speed briefly in Episode 1. It's also interesting to imagine what the Jedi could have done using their abilities in tandem, since that opportunity doesn't really present itself in Episodes 4-6.
And that's pretty much it. I started on some actual draft screenplays after watching The Phantom Edit, trying to change as little as possible from the original, but never completed them. Someday maybe, it's still pretty fun to think about. But I'll probably just go watch Ep3 again instead; did I mention how much I liked it?